Do you ever feel a deep, simmering frustration about how you’ve been treated your entire life by almost everyone that shows up in your life, that you’re not valuable, that you’re insignificant, that you’re not worth listening to? If you know what that feels like, you’re not alone. You’re not crazy for wanting more than the usual nod-and-smile. You’re not asking for too much. You’re just tired of being invisible.
You might notice people hear your words. So they think that's listening, but to someone like you who's highly sensitive, that's not the type of listening you’re after. The type of listening you’re after requires a connection. It requires active listening. You want to feel someone actually gets you—not just hears you.
There are so many people in this world that can be in the same space, and on the surface, it looks like they're listening, they're not really getting it. If they don't get it, that actually creates a wave of anger and pain, because that's triggering the whole you’re not important enough for them to put the time and effort into trying to understand, you know?
It’s not just frustration. It’s a deep ache. It’s the feeling that you could speak your truth and still be met with blank stares. It’s the pain of being surrounded by people and still feeling completely alone.
Most people look at situations and what was said to them, and words are extremely damaging. Words are very hurtful, damaging. Sticks and stones can break your bones. But words shatter you.
But the damage is actually more caused by what is not there. So it's the love you did not receive. It's the neglect, it's the lack of support, it's the inconsistency, it's the not feeling safe because you never knew what was coming back next or what you were going to be dealt that changes who you are as a person, because that is what makes you start to believe that you're not deserving of anything, love, success, sex, money, anything, you're not deserving of that.
It’s the silence after you share something vulnerable and the other person just moves on. It’s the way your needs get brushed aside, the way your feelings are minimized, the way you’re left holding the weight of your own pain with no one willing to help you carry it.
You’ve probably never learned how to walk away from situations like that. You always had to fight. You always had to get angry in order for someone to listen to you. You always had to get angry in order for someone to listen to you or whether it's someone showing you attention, whether it's someone just caring for you and giving you a hug.
It’s exhausting to always be the one who has to raise their voice, to always be the one who has to push just to be noticed. It’s not just about wanting to be heard—it’s about wanting to be understood, to be met, to be felt. It leads to you feeling misunderstood, because they're not really getting you at that deeper level. They're not understanding what you’re trying to say, and that goes into your messaging as well.
And after a while, you start to wonder if maybe you’re the problem. Maybe you’re too much. Maybe you should just stop trying. But that’s not the truth. The truth is, you’re starved for real connection.
Maybe you’re so focused on rescuing other people that you hide everything in you. You can't walk away from this. No, because of your morals and beliefs, you can't walk away from this because, you know, this is important to you, yes, but maybe that's part of your morals and beliefs.
You put yourself last, thinking that if you just give more, love more, help more, maybe someone will finally notice you. Maybe someone will finally listen. But all that happens is you disappear a little more each time.
You don’t settle for surface-level listening. You don’t accept being dismissed, minimized, or told to just get over it. You’re not available for relationships, work, or advice that requires you to shrink, silence yourself, or fight to be seen.
You want to be met. You want to be felt. You want to be understood in the places that hurt the most. And you deserve that.
You’re not too much. You’re not broken. You’re just waiting for the right kind of listening—the kind that feels like coming home, the kind that lets you breathe again.
If you want to move beyond surface emotions and actually name what you feel, you might find the Name What You Feel – 1 Hour Emotional Awareness Workbook helpful. Sometimes just having a space to get clear on what’s really going on inside is the first step to being truly heard and seen.
Learn more or get your workbook here.
If you’re reading this and feeling that ache in your chest, that longing to finally be heard and understood—know that you’re not alone. You’re not too much. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be to begin.
