Imagine you're sharing something that's been bothering you—a nagging worry, a deep fear, or maybe an incident from the day that left you feeling upset. This could be a small argument at work, an offhand comment from a friend, or even your own reactions to something you saw on the news. You're feeling unsettled, so you reach out to someone close to you for a bit of comfort or perhaps some advice.
Now picture their response: "You're making a big deal out of nothing." It's like a punch to the gut, isn't it? Suddenly, you might feel small, dismissed, or even silly for bringing it up. But hold on a second—your emotions are real. Whether it's a whisper or a shout inside you, it's telling you that something's up, and that alone makes it significant.
When they respond with "You're making a big deal out of nothing," they're not seeing the whole picture. To them, it's just a comment, just a moment. But to you, it could be a drop in a glass already filled to the brink with self-doubt, piled-up stressors, or past encounters that felt just as belittling.
The issue isn't whether the event itself was monumental. It's about how it made you feel, and feelings don't always follow logic. They're a signal, sometimes alerting us to things that we might need to deal with, like hidden insecurities or unresolved issues. Other times, they're a sign that our environment or the people in it might not be the healthiest for us.
When someone says you're making a big deal out of nothing, remember, it might seem minor to them, but for you, it's major. This isn't about making mountains out of molehills—it's about how your life's journey, your very personal lived experiences, influences your response to situations.
Your past encounters, memories, and the emotions tied to them shape the way you perceive things now. Your feelings are like fingerprints—unique to you. While others have walked different paths, it's natural they won't always grasp the weight of what you're feeling. Their reaction, while possibly innocent, can feel dismissive because they're looking through a different lens, not the one tinted by your personal experiences.
However, when a hurtful or toxic individual says it, the scenario shifts darker. This is not a stand-alone comment but one more link in a long chain that's been dragging you down. These types of personalities often have a pattern of belittling or dismissing your concerns. It’s their subtle method of undermining: curtailing the significance of your feelings, suggesting that your emotional responses are excessive. It's dismissive, it's disempowering, and frankly, it's not okay.
In the context of a pattern of toxic behavior, "You're making a big deal out of nothing" isn't innocent. It's a calculated move to minimize and invalidate. To erode your reality piece by piece until you start questioning your own perceptions and reactions. It's part of how they assert control, keeping you unsteady and unsure of yourself.
If this sounds familiar, it's essential to recognize that their behavior reflects on them, not you. Your reactions are based on a lifetime of experiences that they haven't lived, emotions they haven't felt, and a journey they haven't taken. More importantly, toxic or not, you have the right to feel your feelings, to have reactions, and to express them without fear of being trivialized.
When someone tells you that your worries are just a big deal over nothing, it can make you feel really alone. It's like when you hurt your knee, and someone else says, "It's just a scratch, stop fussing." But your knee really hurts! You feel the pain, and just because someone else can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.
It can happen in lots of little ways. Imagine you're upset because your friend canceled plans with you at the last minute. You might feel sad because you were looking forward to it all week. If someone just shrugs and says, "So what? It's no big deal," that can hurt. It's not about the plans—it's about your feelings.
Or maybe you get a bad grade on a test, and you're really disappointed. If someone tells you, "Don't make a big deal out of it," they might not understand all the effort you put into studying. It's not just about the grade; it's about how hard you tried.
Sometimes, if the wrong person says it—someone who often isn't kind to you—it feels worse. It's as if they're not just saying your current worry is small, but like they're saying all your feelings don't matter. If they've been unfair to you before, this might just feel like one more time you're being treated badly.
But here's the thing – it's okay to feel upset about these things. It's okay to feel disappointed, or sad, or to wish things had gone differently. Just because someone else says it's nothing doesn't make your feelings less real.
Your feelings are your own. They matter because they're coming from you. And it makes sense to feel bad when someone brushes them off. It's normal to want your feelings to be understood and taken seriously. Everyone has had moments like these, where what we feel inside doesn't seem to matter to someone else. But it does matter. Your feelings are always important, no matter what anyone else says.
When many people tell you the same thing—that what you're worried about isn't a big deal—it's worth pausing for a moment. It might feel like everyone's against you, but there's another way to look at it. It could be a chance for you to grow.
Let's say you're upset because you spilled a drink, and everyone says, "Don't worry, it's just water." But you can't shake off the feeling. This is a good time to ask yourself, "Why does this bother me so much?" It might be that you're not just upset about the spill but maybe it reminds you of a time when someone scolded you for a similar mistake. Or possibly, it's touching on a belief that you always have to be perfect.
When we keep getting upset about things and others don't seem to understand why, it might be our own mind trying to send us a message. It's not about the spilled drink, the canceled plans, or the offhand comment. It's about something deeper inside us—maybe old wounds or beliefs that we carry around without even realizing it.
But here's the good news. This can be a stepping stone to healing those old wounds. It can help us figure out why we feel the way we do and start working on feeling better. By looking into why these things seem like a big deal to us, we can learn a lot about ourselves. And this learning is the first step towards healing and growing stronger.
Knowing this doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid or that you should ignore them. It means the opposite, actually. It means taking your feelings seriously—so seriously that you're willing to explore them, understand them, and grow from them. So, the next time multiple people seem to shrug off something that bothers you, try to see it as an opportunity. It's not about proving who's right about the situation—it's about understanding yourself better and becoming a stronger, more self-aware person.
Now, let's talk about finding support because, at times, emotions and feelings run deep. It can be tough to see clearly when we're in the midst of all these feelings. Maybe you've tried looking into why certain things feel like a big deal, but it's tricky, and that's perfectly normal.
This is where the Start Living Your Truth Mentoring program can step in to offer a helping hand. It's like having a friend who knows just how to help you sift through your emotions and find out what's really going on beneath the surface. Together, we can explore these feelings, understand where they come from, and begin to heal.
It's okay to reach out for support. Sometimes, we all need that external guidance to gain a fresh perspective, to talk with someone who listens without judgment and truly understands. Our mentoring program is designed to be that compassionate space for you.
If you feel like digging deeper into your feelings has become overwhelming, or if you just want a bit of reassurance and guidance on your journey of self-discovery, we're here for you. Take that next step towards personal growth and healing with us. Reach out to Start Living Your Truth, and let's navigate this path together. Your feelings matter, and with the right support, they can lead you to incredible personal growth.
