You might have heard of something called gaslighting. Let's break it down: it's when someone keeps messing with your head until you start to question what's true and what's not. They might say the things you remember aren’t right or that you’re making mountains out of molehills.
It's like they're playing a trick on your mind to make you less sure of yourself - it shakes your confidence in what you know and who you are.
Imagine you’re putting together a puzzle – you know, those big ones with hundreds of pieces. You’re pretty good at puzzles, and you’ve got a large chunk of the sky filled in because you know that's where the blue pieces go. But then, someone comes by and tells you, "Hey, you've got it all wrong. The sky isn't blue; it's green." You look at the box, see the blue sky, and feel confused. You know blue when you see it, right? But if they keep insisting, day after day, with so much confidence, a tiny voice might start whispering in your head, "Is it really blue? Am I remembering the color of the sky all wrong?"
That's a taste of gaslighting for you. It’s sneaky because it doesn't happen all at once – it's little bits of doubt that build up like layers of dust until you can't see the original color of the table underneath.
Gaslighting can happen in all sorts of ways, from someone telling you that your feelings are too intense (even when they’re totally normal) to someone insisting that a thing you experienced actually never happened.
So how do people gaslight you? They have lots of tricks to do it. Here are some of them:
Have you ever met someone who, one day, treats you like you're the best thing since sliced bread, and the next day, they make you feel small for something you did or said? That's what someone gaslighting you might do. They're super nice one moment and really picky or mean the next. Why? Well, it keeps you guessing, like you're standing on a wobbly chair trying to keep your balance. When you’re not sure of yourself, you tend to depend more on the person making you feel this way.
They may start by doubting the little things you choose – like that shirt you love or how you like to spend your time. Then they move on to the big things – like questioning your choice of friends, job, or even your big life goals. This constant second-guessing chips away at your confidence. It’s like someone is shaking the puzzle box just when you started to see the whole picture. Soon, you start double-checking everything, not just little choices but big parts of your life too.
Talking about gaslighting is quite different from feeling it. It's tough to put into words how much it can hurt. Imagine having a shadow follow you around, whispering doubts and making you second-guess your every step. That's a bit like what gaslighting feels like on the inside.
It can feel like an endless loop of confusion. Say you're certain you left your keys on the table, but someone insists you didn't. They keep saying it until, impossibly, you start wondering if you ever knew where your keys were in the first place. That's how gaslighting begins to twist things. It’s not just about keys—it's about every time you trust your own memory.
Gaslighting can make you feel like you're not sure who you are anymore. You doubt everything about yourself and think you can't trust what you think or feel. You might stop speaking up for what you need and start to believe the gaslighter's lies about you.
They can make you feel like you’re living in a fog where nothing is certain—not even your own feelings. Like, when you’re sad, and someone tells you, "You're not really sad; you just want attention.” Pretty soon, you start to question if you really know what sad is.
It can feel like you're lost in a maze, where every time you think you've found the way out, another path is blocked. Even telling the difference between what's real and what's been planted in your mind by someone else becomes hard. This kind of constant confusion can be scary and lonely.
You might end up losing touch with friends, and forget what it's like to have fun. You might even start agreeing with the gaslighter because it seems easier, especially when they throw in a compliment here and there – it's all just to mess with your head.
The really tough part? Gaslighting can make you feel so down that you might think life isn't worth living anymore. You feel like you're the problem, and that's not true at all.
Gaslighting can be tough to spot, especially if it's done slowly. It might start with small things, like someone laughing off your opinion in a group or forgetting promises they’ve made to you consistently. It might seem like nothing significant at first, but over time, the small things add up, making you feel like your words and thoughts hold less weight.
Sometimes, you might feel like you're the only one who sees what's happening – and when you try to explain it to others, they don't see it. That can make you trust yourself even less, adding layers of doubt to the hurt.
Gaslighting is sneaky because it doesn't want to be seen. It works in the shadows, so pulling it into the light is how you start to beat it.
Talking about gaslighting matters because understanding it is your first step in fighting back. Understanding what's happening is key because knowing is half the battle.
Let's talk real about what gaslighting does: it scrambles up the picture you have of yourself. You might begin to feel like you're always in the wrong, you have to say sorry a lot, or you can't make wise decisions on your own. You might even start to think you don't deserve really nice things or caring people – which isn’t true at all.
If you suspect that you’re getting gaslit, there are ways to stop the cycle. It starts with trusting your gut. If something feels off, give yourself permission to question it out loud. Then, reach out – talk to people who respect your perspective and will remind you of what's true and real. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help, too, so you have a record that says, “Yes, this is how I felt, this is what happened.”
Reclaiming your truth in a world where gaslighting tries to rewrite your script is tough, but it’s possible. It means believing in yourself, your feelings, and your memories. It's about re-learning to trust your inner compass even when someone else is trying to spin it.
At Start Living Your Truth, we understand how confusing and lonely it can feel. Our team has lived through the disorientation of gaslighting. We've felt the frustration of not being believed and the loneliness of feeling like we were the problem. We've learned how to spot the signs of gaslighting and, most importantly, how to trust our perceptions again.
When you've been through so much, spotting the truth can be complex, and believing what you see can be even harder. But we're here with the experience, support, and understanding to help you identify gaslighting and to trust in what you see and feel, once again.
That’s why we’re here to offer you the support and clarity you might be searching for right now.
Often, having a friend who listens can make a huge difference.
If you're not sure about things, want to talk it out, or need a hand figuring out if what you're going through is gaslighting, we've got you. We can be the sounding board you need to validate your feelings and affirm your reality.
Remember, your experiences and memories are valid, and you deserve to trust in your own narrative. Gaslighting can’t take away the core of who you are.
